creations from a different heart
by FFREYAA
Summary: a normal girl in a mixed up world. rated T because it is meant for teens. i'm working on more chapters. this isn't really a fairy tale, but i couldn't fugure out what category to put it in.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Creations from a different heart

CHAPTER: (1) a normal day in the life of me

As I woke up to the sound of beautiful simplistic rain, I could smell must from my closet. I guess I accidentally left it open all night, but I swear I locked it firmly before I went to bed, oh well.

There was a strange looking house fly making a huge racket trying to get out of my window from the coldness of my ocean themed room. I thought to my self while standing awkwardly with my pajamas on in the middle of my room…one moment you're just flying your way through an over sized fairy house (if those do exist) and then the next, you're trapped in a time of cyberspace and you think that the garden is right through this rectangular hole in the wall, but it's really the window and as you try to zip down into the droplet caressed flowers outside, you find that you're stuck, and you can't get out. Although you're sure you know life better than that, so you try harder and harder again, but you just keep getting more and more tired… eventually you go into a strange trance and end up in a completely different world unlike you've ever seen before…you're dead.

All in about 4 seconds, I think of this and then just turn away to go downstairs, not helping the fly from it's fate at all, because I know I've tried to do that before, and not succeeded…flies are too ignorant and faint of heart to understand help.

Anyways, I think to my self. I might as well carry on with my miserable life and go downstairs. As I walk through the dust and over the twice painted wood of this mysterious home, I can hear dad's voice. I don't remember them saying this was a long weekend (I'm on summer break, but ,my parents have to work through it, so when they're home on Monday, I know it's a long holiday, because I've pretty much lost track of time). I don't bother to ask them if I'm right, because I know that's what must be happening. Oh, just to think I used to care about that sort of thing.

Yes, that's how my brain thinks, strange eh? Well, I like to think deep until it's so deep, that my mind gets all screwed up and I eventually just forget what I was thinking about. (Sometimes I wonder if I have a bit of A.D.D because of that, probably not though).

This must all be quite boring for the people who are reading this, and have no clue what I'm saying and silently curse at me and then go to look up(on fan fiction) some kind of Harry Potter affair with lots of sex and violence, because that's the kind of thing that excites them…but for the other people, the ones who enjoy the finer things in life and know exactly what I'm saying, thank you for listening and I hope that you read on until this totally opposite of a fairytale is complete.

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This is the first chapter of Creations from a different heart, and it's also my first fairy tale on fan fiction, so please try and mellow down the mean comments.


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: creations from a different heart

CHAPTER: continuation of the day

I was walking down the dusty twice varnished stairs from the hallway upstairs. I could smell something good coming from the kitchen, I think its bacon, but I could be wrong. I've been wrong before about that kind of thing. My feat were collecting little things from the floor, I could feel it on the sweat from the bottom of my feat. I hate that.

As i came across the hall downstairs i saw my mom's face through the wrinkled curtain over the door to the kitchen. My eyes met with hers when i opened the door. She stoped her conversation with dad just to say "GOOD MORNING SWEET PEA" to me. I love my parents, i would probly kill my self out of lust for them if they died, and so i didn't want to give the wrong vibe out by not replying. i said back to her " morning". i then looked at my dad who was standing infront of the stove with a spatchula in his hand. he said " hiya, did you have a good sleep?" i smiled and replied: " yeah".

The morning went by as usual, we all sat at the table talking about the movie we'd seen last night in our own little home theatre on the couch. After that, i left to go check email. i found a new message from my best friend who i'd left behind back where i grew up. We still see each other though, we're really close and i guess so since it was our dads who got to know each other first, then introduced us. i remember we used to have so much fun playing with our barbies in her tub.

Anyways, i read the note, laughed a bit, then walked just out side of the door to the side porch. i stayed really close to the house knowing that if any of my enemies see me in pyjamas, they'll make it a point to scar me for life.

The day went on as normal as can be, near12:00 i was still on the computer when i heard a rumble outside and rushed out to the porch smelling the mist from the rain that had followed the thunder. i love the rain. infact i love any form of water. either it be a stream, the ocean or the rain. that's why i want to be a marine biologist when i get older. i sat out side for around 20 minutes gazing at the droplets. i then heard mom come out and tell me it was lunch time.

Later that night before i watched that 70's show like i always do, i quickly went on msn to see if any of my friends were on. like always, nope. i guess i forgot they all have lives and i don't, this really made me feal like an idiot. it always does. as i did this, i remembered i'd had a fight online with one of my ememies, and it made the whole day yesterday misserable, so i quickly signed out and went to the t.v.

When i finally went to bed, i fell asleep in an awkward position that i knew would kink my neck, and hurt so bad tomorrow. i didn't care though because i would do anything to sleep these days. i had a dream. in the dream, i just saw a flash of the underside of my arm, all cut.


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: creations from a different heart

CHAPTER: the next day.

Today was a little different, not including that it's a work day, and I'm at home with mom since she works at home, and dads in the city at his job.

It was different, because today I bought an ipod. It took forever to download all of my songs, but at least they're on now. So, today I also am paying half of the ipod's money. I had to go to the bank and get it to pay back mom. As I am walking there, I was listening to likin park. When I got to the bank, the stupid machine would only let me take out $25 at a time. I just though screw this and left to the post office. I always forget the number of our P.O. Box, so it was written on my hand in red ink. I thought it looked like blood. There was so much junk mail and only two things there, both for my parents. I then remembered that I had to still send a letter to my friend in England. That was about 2 weeks ago.

I left and on my way back, I walked through a wet field at the back of a church. While I was walking, it felt like the whole time I was just watching myself. Like it was a movie or something, and it almost seemed like I was floating or gliding across my lawn when I got there. My mind was in cyberspace, lost in hey there Delilah. Just wishing and wishing over and over again that someday someone would write a song about me.

I then felt Jessica (my cat) rub against my leg. She was so soft, and she looked so cute as she stared up at me. Her neck was kinked upward trying to make eye contact. I rubbed her belly while she rolled over to let me give her more pleasure.

After dinner, I had a bath. I felt a feeling that I feel allot. Like I wanted to die. Like I couldn't go on any longer. I always then ask myself, why do you want to do this? You are pretty much spoiled and you have a loving family. You are healthy and not one of the ugliest people on the planet. But still, I want to go, somewhere new, somewhere in no worries. I've actually considered committing suicide before. But I can't, too many people I would hurt. Right then, I noticed I had the shaver in my hand. I was about to cut my self. I've never cut my self, accept that time when I was by the computer, and there was a tack beside me (I wrote black on the under side of my arm). It's gone now though. I don't pan on getting into a habit of cutting, so I put the shaver down.

I got out of the bath and dried of. I spent a lot of time starring at my self in the mirror. Well not really starring I guess, It was more like seeing right through myself. Just gazing through the glass and thinking blank. Like literally, thinking nothing.

Later that night in bed, I couldn't get to sleep. My eyes were wide open. I looked at the clock again. 12: 01. I laid back down. I then quietly sang nothing to lose by Billy Talent. Even though the song doesn't apply to me at all. I have lots of friends, and people do see me. Although it didn't relate to me, I felt a strange link to the tune and some of the verses. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I left it there and closed my eyes. I felt like something strange was happening to me, like I was getting so negative. Like I was alone.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER: a cut through the numbness. (4)

I eventually fell asleep last night. It was hard though. I kept on having these dreams about the weirdest things; like bleeding fish that were trying to teach me something. I'm not sure what, but it was like in a church with huge stain glass windows and holes in the floor. I can't really remember many more of the dreams, but I don't think I want to.

I felt dirty in the morning. Most likely because I had dried up tears on my face. I also just felt like I was dirty inside. So I walked in to the bathroom. Mom and dad's door was still shut; they must still have been asleep. I started the hot water for a bath.

In those few seconds in between the droplets and the bird song outside, I had that feeling again. Like I wanted to drop dead and not continue out this life. I felt worthless. Suddenly clear in my mind, I'm not o.k. by y chemical romance started playing. Loud and clear. Why? Why did this particular song come to thought? Who cares, I thought as I went into the bath.

I just sat there for about 15 minutes. Blank. Nothing came to mind. Not even a song. Who cares? It doesn't matter. At that moment I looked at the razor at the side of the bath tub. Should I? Will I? I did. I picked it up and then looked at the under side of my arm.

I took the blade to my arm and pushed. It hurt like hell, but some how it made me feel so much better inside. Blood started spilling out into the water, turning it pink. I then heard a knock on the door. "Honey? Are you in there?" Called my mom from the hall way. I froze.

I answered back with the tool in my hand: "ya".

"o.k.", she hollered back. "Can I go pee?"

I looked at my arm and the almost red water. Then I closed the shower curtain.

"Sure" I said back.

I could hear the squeaky door of the bathroom open and mom walk in. She left soon and didn't say anything else. I then said out loud; "that was close" .

I left it at that. I got out without even washing my hair or anything. When I let the water out, it left kind of pinkish mark in the bottom of the tub. I couldn't just leave it like that, so I got a sponge and some bleach to clean it. It came of o.k., but I knew It would be much harder to clean the cuts from my memory.

Then I just took my clothes to my room and dressed in a black skulled t-shirt. Some tight black jeans and converse. I had to put this sock cut off over my arm to hide the cuts. It was just an experiment once that I thought would make a good arm warmer(the sock that is). I guess it did end up being in good use.


End file.
